it’s funny that freak out(le freak) the song is so happy and chill to listen to because a real freak out is so not that.  i actually looked it up on dictionary.com and this is what i got, “to enter into or cause a period of irrational behavior or emotional instability, as under the influence of a drug.”  it then proceeds to give you an example sentence with LSD in it.  i find that to be strange, yet true.  i had a minor freak out yesterday.  i can’t really say what caused it except to say that it must have been building up for a long time.  i actually felt silly telling people about it because the incident that launched it was so relatively minor.  should i tell you?  ok, ready?  …i lost my scarf at school yesterday…  told you.  but it was enough to set off a strange chain reaction that had me in tears by the end of the day.

i didn’t intend to write so much about the freak part as the recovery part because that side of the story is always so much better.  i took the day today to recover.  i slept.  i ate well.  i read the Psalms.  i wrote.  and most importantly, i breathed.  it’s strange that our bodies can be so seemingly resilient and so fragile at the same time.  i’m still trying to understand the strange dichotomy which is called human.  but it’s so nice that a freak out never comes alone but in the company of his more rational brother peace out. 

peace out was my friend today.  we went to the grocery store and bought simple things like vine ripe tomatoes, mozzarella and ciabatta bread.  oh, and some eggs and milk, too.  we bagged our own groceries, and managed to breathe the strange brewing air of sun and storm that swirled overhead.  even when the first drops of rain rolled off the pollen-dusted car, there was a calmness that came with peace.  i’m listening to the trees swaying outside…feeling so far from where i was last night, and i am duly thankful.

Au Caire, j’ai pris l’habitude de prendre des longues promenades avec J. Comme nous n’avions pas de télé ça a servi comme notre divertissement. Surtout après nous avons demenagé au Zamalek où c’était dix fois plus facile de se ballader sans être renversé par une voiture, on s’est balladé presque toutes les nuits. Même si les routes étaient les mêmes, il y’avait toujours une histoire à voir. Je sais qu’un changement d’endroit ne fait pas beaucoup, mais franchement ça fait beaucoup. Une promenade à ma ville natale a ses charmes mais la grande énergie de la ville me manque atroissement.

Guess who directed it…

can’t get enough of the flight of the conchords!

Notte Sento (English subtitles) from napdan on Vimeo.

“Short film made with 4500+ still photographs. Shot with a Canon EOS 30D camera.”

i got this from a friend and i just had to post it.  it reminds me of when i was taking a nap with my dad in korea, and i waited until he fell asleep to sneak the candy out of my grandma’s candy jar on her desk.  it was a hard candy, and when i heard my dad stir, i got nervous and started crunching it.  he heard the noise and woke up, and i got in trouble.  this kid was a bit luckier.

Too much candy from Capucha on Vimeo

so for no apparent reason, i had a dream that my mom was cooking huge dungeness crabs, and even though they were red, they were still alive and trying to crawl out of the pot.  there were hundreds of them, and while she stood at the stove trying to coax them into the pot, i just stood there like a silly girl and screamed.  apart from the hundreds of crabs, the rest of the dream is pretty true to life.

thankfully, my students do not read this.  but then again, i’m not using their “real” names – just the french names they chose.

i have a brilliant student in my period 12 class.  she’s the kind of student who’ll turn in a flawless paper on the first try, and seeks absolute perfection in all that she does.  i have a not as brilliant student in my period 12 class.  but in lieu of brilliance, he exudes humility and extreme creativity.  when he knew that his french skills would not carry him through a 15 minute presentation on the environment, he created a flash presentation slide show – timed to music – of various environmental images.  it had me.

recently simone has not had the same alertness in class.  she’s not poised to raise her hand as soon as i finish the last lilt of my question.  i noticed this on or about the third day of silence from her side of the room.  and then i noticed that the alertness was still there…it was just averted towards…felix.  yes, i’ve been seeing a lot of the back of felix’s head recently.  he must be some kind of charmer because he’s got simone giggling and putting out her hand to wave away an imaginary fly.  and i just don’t have the heart to tell felix to turn around because i secretly want him to succeed…or at least have a date for the semi this year.

yes, in my own little way, i’m letting the teacher play second fiddle to the romantic in me.  seeing young love bud in real life is better than any feigned korean drama.  this is the real deal…so i’m keeping my mouth closed, and my eyes slightly averted.

happy spring!

i know the weather affects people, and i know it affects me, but it’s rather insane how much i feel influenced by the spins of the earth.  during those fabled months when the earth leans back from the sun, and we enter the cold dark of winter, i literally fall asleep.  i work on auto-save mode, managing to tweak out enough energy to do just what i need to and then retreat into hibernation.  but when the earth begins its gradual bow back to the sun, bursts of energy “spring” out of nowhere.  my mind starts to bustle with new ideas.  i switch from wearing gray, grey, and grays to color, colour and colors!  an old familiar smile begins to crawl back into its old crevices on my face, and even my eyes seem to open wider.

what is it about spring?

and what is it about 2009?  i was recently told that i have a record year.  9 weddings in the first 9 months of the year.  but i’m still waiting for some more at the end of the year.  i am in two of those weddings.  and some weddings i have to miss because of inevitable overlap.  but wowsas!  people like getting married in 2009 – or at least my friends do.  by the end of september 2009, i will have attended 45 weddings in my lifetime.  (i really do have a tally i keep on a post-it note since college!)  but if there’s something worth counting, weddings are definitely up there with money, sheep, and blessings.

anyway, this was more of a pre-vernal outburst because it is cold and windy outside.  so please some soon, spring!  there are so many things i am looking forward to!

…by its cover.  i always do.

:: the book cover archive ::