Month: July 2010

  • Mother

    Today's post follows a grimmer darker road than my previous entries, but still noteworthy.  I recently watched Bong Joon-ho's Mother at the recommendation of a friend.  It's a thriller, which I hate, but Mother touched a much deeper chord than just being a thriller - something almost anyone could understand - the love of a mother.  Albeit, this love can be twisted and distorted, but this movie really examines the core of a mother-son relationship that are duly and completely dependent on one another.

    Hye-ja cares for her son Do-joon, her 27-year old son of limited mental capacity.  She hovers over him while giving him the illusion of independence, and though Do-joon asserts his own, he is also deeply reliant on his mother.  There is a well-meant double-entendre when Do-joon says he "sleeps" with his mother - which he literally does - but the Oedipal undertones are not far off.  When Do-joon is accused of a murder in a small country town, Hye-ja goes to all lengths to clear her son's name.  She is the Korean-version of The No.1 Ladies Detective Agency playing sleuth, forensics expert and spy all in one swoop.

    Without spoiling the film, this movie definitely brought me to a certain understanding of why or how someone might commit murder - not in a thought out way, but in a deeply-entranced moment of unreliable fury.  I think of the worst temper tantrum I've ever had, add a blunt object and an innocent bystander, and therein I have the recipe for murder.  It's incredible how Bong Joon-ho is able to draw such a thinly veiled line between those who murder and those who do not.  I found myself having to visibly shake my head out of the trance I entered as I followed Hye-ja's "logical" thoughts.  The human mind can be a dangerous labryinth.

    R and I had an interesting discussion about this because of the murder I grappled with in my own life.  No one will ever truly deeply understand why people kill, and sometimes not even the person who perpetrates the crime knows why, but Mother helped me to see that sometimes those lines can become increasingly burdensome and heavy when carried by one person.

    At the heart of it, this film explored the dark recesses of humanity which we often shudder at and dismiss.  I came to some of the same conclusions I had years prior when I realized that everyone houses a capacity to kill.  What keeps us from it is the deep intertwined networks of community that keep us from ever getting too lost in our own heads.  The true danger comes when a man decides what is right and wrong for himself alone.

    ***

    That was heavy, so on a lighter note, there is a great dance number at the opening of Mother, and if you ever see R, ask him to dance it for you.  He's a pro at the Mother dance.

     

  • An Engagement Story...

    So I realize the last few posts were a bit "lovey dovey" so to speak, but maybe they were all primers for the story you're about to hear.  This is an e-mail I sent out last night...

    Dear Friends,

    It is with GREAT joy that we announce...WE ARE ENGAGED!!!  Randall surprised Mina (the correct word here would be bouleversé which is French for something like totally flipped over) on July 5 at approximately 2.5 hours to sunset.  He pretended that he wanted to spend the last waning hours of the 4th of July weekend relaxing at the beach, and given the immense heat wave we've had in NY, Mina tended to agree. 

    She was in for a change of plans, however, when Randall suggest that they "see the dunes for a minute" mainly because all she could see was the sand, the ocean, and cool relief slipping from her fingers.  She begrudgingly indulged Randall and slowly trudged behind him in the sand as he two-stepped to the dunes which were a long 10 minute walk away.  (Mina thinks that one step in the sand is like three steps on solid ground.) 

    When we reached the "Dune House," Mina was reminded of their first beach date which was in March two years prior.  They had a brilliant idea to go to the beach when alas it was quite cold...so they found respite in the wispy grass of the dunes.  It is here that Randall laid down his towel and had Mina have a seat while he presented her with a beautiful envelope holding a seven-page confession of love, joy, hope and general thoughts his affectations.

    Mina read the letter with much anticipation.  While she was used to receiving such notes from Randall, this one had a slightly different tenor...there were many mentions of "the right moment," "jumping in," "sea-sick sailor," and of course love...while Mina was 99% sure what this was leading to, there was also a 99% feeling of disbelief that this was actually happening!  (That's what a surprise is!)

    When she finished the letter, a weepy eye met a weepy eye and hugs were exchanged.  Then another package was retrieved from behind Randall's back.  It was a handkerchief Mina knew well.  She'd worn in on her head and pretended to be a pirate.  And Randall has also used it to wipe away her tears when the occasion so called.  But this time, this curious handkerchief was wrapped around a suspicious weight.

    As Mina slyly toyed with the knot, she coyly said, "But I don't need a handkerchief!" and Randall played along by saying, "Open it!"  And as she did, she beheld a beautiful wooden box.  This box looked ordinary, yet had been cut to open like a ring box...unknowingly Mina tugged on the box to no avail until she implored, "I can't open it."  Two extremely nervous hands met over the box which he easily opened (as he must have practiced) and inside was a beautiful blue ring.

    Now all 99% became 100%.  Hugs, kisses, tears were exchanged again, and Mina exclaimed, "I'm a fiancée!"  "Not yet!" replied Randall to which he duly got on bended knee and "popped the question."  Mina, being silly, used a Randall line and said, "Can I think about it?" which lasted 2 seconds before she said "yes!"

    Hugs!  Kisses!  Champagne!  And then several blissful hours where we enjoyed the sunset (and eventually the sand and the surf) and most importantly each other's company before returning to the beautiful city of New York...

    The End.

    We did manage some photos, but we were mainly BOTH in shock!  :)
    http://www.flickr.com/photos/minakim139/sets/72157624330029987/